8/25/13
Dear Sammie,
This is your uncle James. I recently started reading a book that is really good. Maybe when you are old enough we can read it together. Right now it is more something Pao would like than you. It is one of those things that when I say, "You'll understand when your older," I actually mean. Sometimes when adults say that, what they really mean is "I don't know the answer, but I probably should." But this time, I really mean you might enjoy this book some day, but not quite yet. But, one thing this book made me realize is there are a lot of things about our family that you may not know. And there are a lot of stories that Pao either doesn't know or might remember differently than me or Tammy or Ella. So, I wanted to tell you some stories if you want to hear and eventually read them.
But first, I want you to know a little about me. I've been gone all of your life in either California or Alabama. We have seen each other a few times and talked to each other on the phone, but we haven't really had much time to get to know one another. Pao, your grandma, your mom and your dad tell me a little about you. Even our cousins and aunts tell me some. But you may not know much about me.
About a year before you were born I moved to Los Angeles. I went there to go to seminary just like Pao. He went to a seminary in Texas. I hear you really like Texas. (Do you like it better than Thailand? I heard you and your mom went this last summer.) So, I moved to Los Angeles and when Pao and your grandma heard they got upset. Not like they raised their voice, but they just had no idea I was even thinking about things like California, because I had learned a long time ago that with those two it is better to tell them what would actually happen instead of what might happen. So instead of telling them beforehand that I might move to California I told them after I had everything settled and had already decided a date to move to Texas. (Remember this if you are thinking about any big news. You can tell them, but don't worry them until you know for sure!)
In the week or so before I moved I had this really big garage sale and sold everything I owned, even a truck Pao had given me when I was going through some really hard times. By the way Pao is a good man. I think you know that now since you are buddies and always getting into trouble together. If anything ever happens just know that you can always talk to him. There is nothing you have to say that is going to make him stop loving you.
So, I sold that truck of his in a garage sale and some friends at church introduced me to their dad and I bought his Volvo. So, I decided, and once I decide something I stick with it, and I guess you should know that I am pretty stubborn that way. If Pao or your daddy ever tells you that, you can know they are telling you the truth. But I decided that I would get rid of everything in my life that would not fit in that little Volvo. Now you have to understand I had about as much stuff as Pao and Grandma. And so I sold it all. It really was something to see.
So, I packed up that car and had the first of many goodbyes. One thing I quickly realized is that if you are anything like me sometimes you don't understand just how much someone loves you until they tell you goodbye. I had lots of tears shed on my shoulder that day. Both family and friend. And it meant a lot to me. It made me think how important it is to tell people what they mean to you. So, I left this cool little place I lived at in Belton, Texas. Maybe one of these days you will go to college there. If you do, talk to me before your junior year of high school. They have special scholarships that you have to apply for that early! And, maybe that same loft will be available for you to live in.
So, I left Belton and I went to our cousin Carol's house for a birthday party. You should have seen the looks on everyone's faces when I drove up in that Volvo. It wasn't that they were impressed with me driving a Volvo. It was more they were frightened that I drove that thing at all without being able to see out of my back window. I seem to recall Bubba and his dad Uncle Chalk cleaning out the back of my car and also fixing some electronics for me before I left. I really was thankful for that because it made the less of the trip a lot easier.
Our Aunt G tried to squeeze some more food in the car with me even though I fought that off. I just didn't think I could fit anything else. Two things about taking food from our family…well, kind of three. First, you should always take it. Our family spends a lot of time making food, and it means a lot that we take it because it means we liked it. Also, and this is kind of two things, don't ever take someone else's container. Sure, they mean well, but one day you will wake up and realize you have had Aunt G's favorite ice cooler on top of your closet for four years in Los Angeles and you are moving to Alabama tomorrow and don't have room for it…so you have to leave your bike in Los Angeles.
Okay, so that last part is a story, but it sure seemed that way when I realized that I still had her ice chest when I moved to Alabama that she gave me that day in that Volvo. And the final thing is Love leftovers taste best out of those little plastic butter containers. Every cousin will tell you the same thing.
I couldn't stay long at the party because it took me longer than I thought to leave Belton and because Pao and Grandma already lived in Grandfalls. I promised them I would spend a couple of days with them. So I took off from Carol's and hit the road. I expected one of two things to happen: I thought I would either be really sad or really happy. But, and I think this is important for when you start making big life choices: I just felt normal. Life just kept going and the people and the scenery changed. So, if you wake up on your wedding day and you just feel normal…you can know some of us are just like that. Then one day, you will be sitting in your office in Alabama and realize, "Wait…I'm not in Texas. In fact I am not even in California. I've been in Alabama three years and I'm just now realizing it." That's just how some of us work…and it really is fine.
So, I stayed with Pao and Grandma for a couple of days and decided that I was going to drive to Phoenix the first day of my trip and then into Los Angeles the next day. There are two lessons that you can learn from my driving to Los Angeles. The first is listen to your teachers about maps. The second is to listen to your teachers about calendars.
I took off and found myself in Phoenix during rush hour traffic. You see there are these silly things called time zones and I did not pay attention to them when I left Pao and Grandma's house. Also, when you are driving a long ways, five in the afternoon is not a good time to stop. There is still plenty of daylight ahead of you. But here is why you need to pay attention to maps…I didn't know how far the next major city was because I forgot my map. And I also forgot that since I was traveling west I either needed a good pair of sunglasses or to wait for sunset to keep driving. And your Uncle James was very silly and drove without sunglasses for hours staring at that big setting sun.
And that reminds me, while you are living in Grandfalls you need to stop sometimes and watch that big old sun rise and set. There are few places better than the desert for sunsets and sunrises.
I drove to this city called Blythe and got lucky that I found a respectable (meaning a place your Grandma would actually stay at) hotel that took cash. A funny thing about Blythe. Two of my many neighbors at seminary were a couple named Jimmy and Lydia. They were newly married when I moved to Los Angeles. While I got to know them, Lydia had a baby girl, and you know what the called her? Blythe after that very city. So even though I only stayed one night there I will probably never forget that place. Also, Jimmy was a Texan, which was good for my soul. No matter what you do and where you go make sure there are some Texans around. We all watch out for one another.
The next morning I woke up early, because I forgot my map and didn't know how far I had to drive. I was surprised the next day when I drove through more of those windmills than you have ever seen. They were all over the place Sammie, and I got much closer to them than I ever had before. Even closer than when you go to Iraan! Those were mainly around Palm Springs. One thing I don't understand is why people love Palm Springs so much. It really seemed a lot like Phoenix or Tucson. I will admit though that I only stopped at Carl's Junior (which you call Hardee's), so I didn't give it a fair chance.
I kept driving and I came over this hill and I noticed this giant cloud. That cloud was bigger than anything I had ever seen before. I had heard of smog before, but had never really seen it. It was gross when you thought about it, but even after just one week I had forgotten all about it, because you can still see the sun through it even on the worst of days. So, I kept driving and I came underneath the cloud and saw what I thought was the City of Los Angeles. It turns out I was not even in Los Angeles County yet!
What you think of when you talk about Los Angeles is really about 3 or 4 different counties with nearly 30 million people in them. And that is what I thought about Los Angeles too until I lived there.
So, I kept driving and I got really lucky because I got there around 11am or so. That meant that morning traffic was basically over and afternoon traffic hadn't begun yet. Anyone who lives in Los Angeles will tell you the same thing…it's actually very easy to drive in Los Angeles. Just don't drive from 5:00am to 9:00 am and 3:30pm to 7:00 pm. If you can get away with it Los Angeles is actually very easy and fun to get around…especially Sunday mornings. But I will wait until you are older to tell you why that is the case. Also, Tuscaloosa is the scariest place I have ever driven. If I thought it would be any safer I would ride a bike. But my gut tells me there are people who take aim at people on bikes, so I stick with my car.
I went to Fuller (my seminary) to get a key to my new place. And now is the time for that second lesson. Make sure you remember how many days there are in a month. You see May has 31 days. I got to Los Angeles a whole day early because I didn't look at a calendar and thought there were only 30 days. And you should never do anything that silly like your Uncle James did. But my new friends were really helpful and let me move in a day early…and didn't even charge me for it.
When I got there I met my new roommate John and my soon to be best friend Jonathan. John was a Mennonite. I am sure I will tell you plenty about Mennonites in my stories. They are really good people. They have many great ideas if we would just listen to them. John decided that we needed to set up the living room as a staging area. I didn't know what that meant so I took all of my things to my room. And when I did I was really quite surprised. I had never lived in a place so small…or without air conditioning.
But I think that is enough for now. I know that we just got to Los Angeles and I haven't really told you much about myself, or many family stories, but we will have plenty of time ahead of us and plenty of stories too.
Love you,
Uncle James
